MAYHEM ON MONDAY

Still no answers to the big question ….

One week out and I am still in pursuit of the perfect author’s outfit. I checked with a few more friends to see if they might have the answer. I went a bit further this time as well as checking the Ottawa contingent. Brenda Chapman has a day job in the federal government job and has to be creative about when she’ll write mysteries and what she’ll wear. Read on:

“I usually work in the evenings after dinner during the week. On the weekends, I start in the morning and work off and on all day. Sometimes, I find myself typing away at 10 o'clock at night. I usually work in jeans, a couple of sweaters and running shoes. Sometimes, I write in my pajamas and housecoat (as I am now) if I am up early on the weekend.”

A couple of sweaters? Must be cool. No wonder I got shivers reading Brenda’s new book.

Maybe Sue Pike’s house is a bit warmer. Let’s hope. “I do what writing I do in the afternoons as I go to aquafit most mornings.”

Aquafit! Water! Warm! But … “By the time I sit down at my laptop I'm showered and dressed to kill. Black tights, turtleneck and a bulky sweater. It is Ottawa in winter, after all. My friend Tinka gave me a Navajo talisman that I put on the desk beside the computer. It's supposed to call out the muse. Sometimes it works.”

Fine, Sue. But what about the summer? To my surprise, she admitted to wearing … “as little as I can get away with. Just my underwear if it's very warm. I write in a small cabin by a lake, as you know, and unexpected visitors are as rare as blue mockingbirds in those woods.”

Well, who knew?

Meanwhile, in what she calls Canada’s Caribbean, Lou Allin is … “wearing yoga pants, which can do double duty if necessary, like going outside to get wood. A Hawaiian volcano t shirt, sox, and cozy leopard bedroom slippers with rubber bottoms, also useful for going out for wood.”

Sounds very colourful, but, you know, not all that warm if you have to keep going out for wood.

Worried, I checked out my friend Hannah Dennison in LA. I was in for a shock. “I am happiest writing in my pajamas with fingerless gloves and thick fuzzy socks. And when it's cold, I'll add a scarf.”

Wow. She’s a pretty glamorous gal, but she’s so cold that her words are blue! And fingerless gloves. Hmmm.

I thought it wise to check with one of the guys too. Maybe he’d have a more dashing 007 thing going. Here’s C.B. Forrest (Chris to his Mom). Judge for yourself: “Well, MJ, you know the "B" in CB Forrest stands for Buck-Naked.”

I seem to remember this issue from a liar’s panel, so I’m not completely convinced. Read on: “My favorite writing shirt is a faded navy blue cord job with the elbows almost worn out and half the buttons are gone. My wife keeps trying to throw it out, but I always come back with "this is my writing shirt" and give her a look that suggests she's obviously insane. Like a superstitious baseball player wearing the same pair of underwear every game of the playoffs, I guess I just don't want to tempt the fates.”

Now that we’re on to underwear (again!), it’s time for me to accept it. We’re not such a fancy lot, but my friend sure turn out some terrifically readable stories in their PJ’s, slipper, skivvies, fingerless gloves, Hawaiian gear, old shirts, and yoga pants. I guess I don’t need to worry too much about getting the best gear. I should just stay in the chair and try to write the best book I can.

You might not agree. If you don’t, do you have any fashion advice for these authors? Or me?



Mary Jane Maffini rides herd on three (soon to be three and a half) mystery series and a couple of dozen short stories. Her thirteenth mystery novel, The Busy Woman’s Guide to Murder (April 5, 2011), is brimming with names, no two the same.

MAYHEM ON MONDAY

You’re wearing what????

After fretting about dressing my characters last week, I turned my attention to myself. What was I going to wear for heaven’s sake? It was fine for Charlotte Adams to have her trendy shoes and the others to have whatever you might call their outfits. But what about the author? For years I worked in my pyjamas first thing every morning, but recently, mornings have been taken up with promotion, writing biz and, um, blogs. So I have switched to afternoon. So what should be my writer’s uniform in that case? I tried asking my writer friends the tough questions and got a number of answers, many of them revealing. Psychologically at least.

Of course, I started with my Canadian friends, figuring they’d have the same climate issues as I do.

I was pretty certain that Joan Boswell would be the first one up every morning so I started with her. Sure enough. Joan confessed: “Since I have to get up and walk my dogs every morning I get dressed but sweats and a t-shirt with a polar fleece vest work well. And I always wear makeup; always have even when heading for the delivery room.”

Is it my imagination or are there many many story possibilities buried in that? She always looks good. I’ll say that about her. She didn’t mention colour-coordinated or Chico’s, but I know better.

Linda Wiken (AKA Erika Chase) is up pretty early too. Apparently, it’s cold in her house (despite warm bodied cats). Her teeth seem to chatter as she filled me in: “Usually, during these cold, wintry days I'm wearing warm sweatpants, a turtleneck T & one or 2 fleece tops -- if it's 2, the top one is a vest & when I get to that stage I realize it's time to bump up the thermostat. And always earrings!”

Well, she’s sure been productive lately working on her second mystery book club novel. I am putting that down to the earrings. Unless it’s two (!) fleece tops.

Vicki Delaney has a uniform, no matter what (almost). I was thinking maybe she’d have a hat like Constable Molly Smith, but no. She states categorically, “I am always in my pyjamas. Flannel in the winter, cotton in the summer. Always pyjamas, never a nightgown. The only exception is if I am expecting someone like a workman, and then I'll put on something respectable.* Even in the summer when outside on the deck - it's the PJs.”

* Note to readers: respectable is not defined. Hmm.

“My sweats, exactly what Meg wears when she's at home,” says Robin (R.J. Harlick)who is outdoorsy like her protagonist. Of course, as she has a new puppy, I am not sure how much writing is getting done. Whatever is, will be all about the comfort level. Although she denies any makeup use, she admits to wearing earrings too. They are slightly offset by the fluffy slippers, but altogether an authorial look.

“Cold feet, no ideas,” says Barbara Fradkin. “I am also a PJs and dressing gown plus fuzzy slippers person. The fleece slippers are essential. If I am writing in the evening, I have to be in comfy clothes like a baggy sweatshirt and pants, soft on the skin, no constricting belts, shoes, etc. It looks like hell, so I'm always terrified someone will drop by.”

I was toying with the idea of paying some handsome fellow to ring Barb’s doorbell this evening, just for the hell of it, but my good angel wouldn’t let me.

Pressed to reveal more (so to speak) and talk about her warm weather and cottage gear, Barb issued the following terse statement: “Hah! That depends on the weather. You're angling for bikini, or maybe even naked, aren't you? All these polar fleeces and baggy sweats just don't liven up the page. On the dock in spring and fall, I've been known to wear my ski jacket, tuque and gloves. In summer... the less the better. I did try naked once, but it didn't produce my best work. Had to keep looking up every time I heard the growl of a fishing boat.”

This made my day and I am sure it will make yours too. No photo was included. I still haven’t figured out to wear while writing in the afternoon.

In the meantime, what do you wear when you are at work? What do you wish you could wear?



Mary Jane Maffini rides herd on three (soon to be three and a half) mystery series and a couple of dozen short stories. Her thirteenth mystery novel, The Busy Woman’s Guide to Murder (April 5, 2011), is brimming with names, no two the same.